Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I could fuck to npr.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
