i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
