whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
