Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
