Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize