Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry drewbrees99 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA

Fav 4 1154 1485
share tweet
(972): View more from Texas

I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.

Fav 89 14467 1618
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I

Fav 54 5291 769
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I had better be fucking involved with step four.

Fav 46 5709 1308
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.

Fav 18 3999 1266
share tweet
(253): View more from Washington

That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of

Fav 3 1567 3275
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.

Fav 4 4946 1191
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?

Fav 4 1013 1472
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(252): View more from North Carolina

Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.

Fav 0 20 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT