Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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