If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
