i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
