am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
