Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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