The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
sarcasm needs its own font
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
