you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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