She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
