well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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