i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
