we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
