my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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