just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
