I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
