I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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