If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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