so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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