WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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