So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
