State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
