I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
