i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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