Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
