Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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