if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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