U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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