If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
