At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
