Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
