I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
