she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
They are going to name an STD after you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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