So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
