She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
