i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
is wine microwaveable?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
