you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
