new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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