Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
