Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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