We're like a lot better than the average bears
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
