Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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