I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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