My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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