I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize