Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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