i think my tv is drunk
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
