so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
