The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
ttyl tear gas
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
