hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
