So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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