I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
